Be passionate. If there is one life lesson worth learning, it’s this one. Be passionate and strive towards the goal. Never take your eyes off the prize; the distractions aren’t worth it. Let your passion be the drive in your life; you will go far if you do.
I’m actually happy right now.
He gave me the letter today, with a hug. :)
That definitely brightened up my day.
As soon as he left the room, I started reading it.
He started out the letter with a pretty regretful tone and I got scared.
But the letter turned out for the better.
I confessed my feelings to him.
He confessed his feelings back.
But we’re not together.
Yeah, so was I.
Until I reread it over again.
Here’s an excerpt of what he wrote:
" I can assure you that there was never NOTHING there on my end. Watching Star Trek with you was absolutely amazing. If I were there with any one of the majority of my other friends, there probably would not have been much physical contact in general, let alone cuddling and holding hands…holding hands. My heart was racing at a probably dangerous pace just thinking about it. Then it took me fifteen minutes to finally do it. Once we were holding hands, there were many times when I was less focused on the badass-ery of Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto than I was on gently rubbing my thumb on your hand (which I don’t know if you liked but I loved when you did it). Also…maybe one of the biggest things is this: what am I doing sitting here writing a letter? I never write letters. I’ve been realizing more and more lately that, well…maybe you were wrong about me not feeling the same…which only makes the whole situation a whole lot harder for the both of us…"
That except made my entire day right there.
No, my entire life.
He returned my feelings.
He actually did like me back.
Unfortunately, we both agreed to not date. It would be better off for both of us not to date because of the fact that I’m leaving to college in 3 months.
He and I are still the best of friends.
And we both said that maybe we’ll date in the future, once we’re both in college or out of college.
But now is just not the time.
Although I was a bit hurt when I first read his letter, I did eventually agree with his point that it would be hard to maintain a long-distance relationship in college.
But for now, I think I’m going to enjoy his company every bit I can.
Which means more hand-holding and cuddling during movies. :)
It’s not a summer fling.
Because I actually do love him.
But I might as well take what I have right now. :)
To rant or not to rant.
Eff this, I’ll just rant.
Just cause I can.
Well, my heart’s in chaos right now.
And pretty darn confused.
Confessed to the guy I like through a letter, which I gave to him last week.
I thought that was the end of our friendship because he stopped talking to me after I gave him the letter.
After 2 days of not talking to him, I messaged him on facebook and asked if he could just forget the letter and go back to being best friends with me. It was hard not to talk to him anymore and I said I would rather have my best friend back and forget my feelings than to not be friends at all.
He said, “Actually, I have a letter for you too. I promise you it didn’t screw anything up, I just haven’t had a chance to have any sort of conversation yet.”
Reading that gave me hope. Gave me hope that maybe he returned the same feelings.
We started talking again after he sent that message, and apparently we’re still going to prom together his senior year (which made me so happy).
I also found out that he apparently is sticking with the promise for real because I told a close friend of mine (who is also close to him as well) about the promise and she said, “Oh yeah! He’s definitely sticking with that! I talked to him the other day and said, if anything goes wrong with my boyfriend right now, will you go to prom with me our senior year?’ and he said no, I’m going with Naomi.”
You don’t know how happy that made me, to know that he was sticking with his promise. He makes me so happy.
But he also makes me so confused too. And hurt at the same time.
I saw him on Tuesday. I gave him another letter I wrote and a couple key chain. It’s technically not a couple key chain because it’s a key chain for best friends, but I see it as a couple key chain.
He accepted it.
He accepted his part of the key chain (maybe I’ll post a picture of the key chain later).
You have no idea how happy I was when he accepted it.
This guy. I’ve liked him for the past 2 years.
I never told anyone because I thought it would be hopeless. But after being best friends with him and texting him every day, I felt that there was something that he felt for me, and that maybe I had a chance.
So I took the chance.
And now, I have no idea where I am. I’m so confused.
On Tuesday, we hung out. For about 3 hours straight. But during those 3 hours, we didn’t really talk to each other. It seemed like he was avoiding me.
Probably because I was distancing myself from him. Hey, don’t accuse me. I was distancing myself from him to give him time and comfort. I thought after returning to being friends again WITH the knowledge that I like him, we would be awkward.
Well, yeah, we sorta still are.
And he still hasn’t give me that letter yet.
There’s my heart right now.
I get to see him again later today.
Don’t know how I feel about that, honestly.
At this point, I’m almost certain that it’s a rejection.
And if it is, then I’ll accept it.
Doesn’t change the fact that I still love him.
And that it will take a long time to get over this.
You make me go crazy.
But I still love you.
Even when you still love her.
Mah future husband. He cute. <3
AHAHAHAHA. I should make this my wallpaper for my phone. I love him. <3
A few months before the Hillsong album “Beautiful Exchange” was recorded, we started singing a song in church called “Believe”. I loved the song from the beginning. Originally the song had a bridge section in it, and for some reason that is beyond me, in the album version the bridge was removed.
This is my middle brother.
We’re 7 years apart.
But he is the person I love the most in this world.
If it ever came down to it, I would give up my life for him in a heartbeat.
Out of all my brothers, he was the one that was nicest to me.
He was the one who first showed me what love is.
He loved me.
Maybe a bit too much.
He loved his little sister.
He loved his only little sister.
Maybe a bit too much.
The things he has done for me…I can never forget.
I remember crying every night when he was at army training, wishing I could talk to him and wishing he would come back home.
I remember crying on the phone with him when I told him that everything was going wrong when I first moved out to the suburbs.
I remember crying with him after dad had yelled at me for a little stupid mistake which led us to crying about how dad never cared about us at all.
I remember crying in front of him when dad yelled at me through the phone, calling me stupid and forgetful.
I remember crying for him when he defended me against dad. Because I was too much of a coward to stand up for myself.
I remember crying for him because he was crying…for me.
I’ve cried a lot for him and a lot with him.
But my brother is worth every teardrop.
Because I was worth his tears.